“And I thought all that time I was crazy and imagining things”, Marina said when she first came to see me. “I have been taking anti-depressants for 21 years, but now I want to stop. Will you help me?” she asked.

During coaching, Marina gradually stopped her medication with the help of her wonderful doctor. She goes out and is has entered a happy new relationship. She has improved her relationships with her kids and is communicating amazingly well with Peter. She has been promoted at work and is considering publishing her story “to help others believe they can”.

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A very common human expression is “I wish I could go back in time and change something.Then my life would be different. I wish I could have a second chance”. Let’s explore this a bit, shall we?

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In over 4 decades of living, I’ve had the misfortune of getting into all kinds of arguments with people. I’m sure you have, too, at least to some extent. However, possibly the most common cause for these arguments was the other person’s insistence on making thing personal. Some time ago, I bumped into this phenomenon in a book on Rational Emotive Behavior Analysis, which even gave it a name: personalizing. In the great all-time book “Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance”, humanity is split into those who are mostly concerned with the structure (or form) of things and those who only care about the function (or meaning) of things. I’m here to tell you that people can be as …

Making Things Personal Read More »

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