Personal Growth Web

Live, learn, grow, share

  • Home
  • About
  • Contribute

Home » Learning » I’m OK, You’re OK!

I’m OK, You’re OK!

October 28, 2008 by Ronit Baras 3 Comments

“We always do the best we can with what we have”
– Ronit Baras

A very common human expression is “I wish I could go back in time and change something.Then my life would be different. I wish I could have a second chance”. Let’s explore this a bit, shall we?

Pick an event in your life, which you would give anything to go back to and change. Being unfair to someone close, breaking a leg because you weren’t careful enough, getting caught doing something you shouldn’t have done or anything else you wish hadn’t happened. Think of what this events caused in your life – pain, embarrassment, failure, etc, and make sure you’ve chosen an event you feel very strongly about.

Now, roll back your life to the point in time just before that event. But here’s the catch: you can’t take with you any of the knowledge and skills you’ve accumulated since the event. You must go back to being exactly the same you from before the event took place.

Now, ask yourself this question:

Given a second chance, but being exactly who you were then, with the same fears, same understanding, same beliefs, same knowledge, same mindset, could you really change anything?

If your answer is “yes”, then ask yourself this:

Why didn’t you do it differently the first time?

It’s OK. Take a deep breath, think about it, and the answer will come … you couldn’t, because you didn’t know better, or didn’t have the required skills and missed by a second, or whatever the reason. If the same you was put in the very same situation exactly, you would get the exact same results as you did the first time. In fact, you could go back there a million times and still get the exact same results.

How frustrating! Or is it?

When we’ve done this little exercise, and when our clients have done it, we’ve found that, strangely enough, this thought provides total liberation from any guilt feelings we may have had. The reason we did stupid, cruel, painful or boring things was that they were the only things we could do at the time. Sure, now we know better, but then, we didn’t!

But why stop at a single event? If this is true for one event, isn’t it true for every event? Isn’t it true for every decision in our life? Isn’t it true for every single second we live? Sure it is.

So does this mean that we never ever make mistakes, because we always do the only thing we can do? Absolutely! We always do the one and only thing we can do, and it’s always what we consider at the time to be the best thing to do (from our point of view).

Conclusion #1: I’m OK

Let’s expand this to other people now.

First, we can start with the people we like, because it’s easiest to forgive them. You’ll quickly agree that the people you like, much like you, always do the best they can, because they are such good people. Even when they make mistakes, it’s simply because they couldn’t do any better. Therefore, they are OK too.

The next step is a bit harder, especially when we think of people who do seriously bad things, like rape or murder, but it’s as inevitable as all the previous steps. No matter how we may judge another person’s actions, the person himself is doing the best he can under the circumstances. No matter how “bad” the other person is, their genetics, background and experiences have gotten them to do what we consider to be bad, but it was still what they thought best for them.

Conclusion #2: Everyone else is OK

All this is fine and good, but what do we do with it?

Well, accepting yourself (conclusion #1) will help you relax a great deal and increase your self-confidence. It will eliminate guilt, which is a destructive feeling, from your life forever. You will be free to focus on getting the best outcomes without worrying about things too much. This will, in turn, improve the results you see in your life.

Accepting others (conclusion #2) will help your relationships tremendously, because you will no longer judge other people’s actions and words. You will become very helpful to others, being able to support them in whatever they do. You will be forgiving, because you don’t take anyone else’s actions personally. After all, they are doing the best they can. Forgiveness will help you eliminate anger. This will, in turn, improve the results you see in your life, because people around you will return your kindness and help you too.

“If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we’re all OK”
– Jewel

Jewel said it the best way. Yes, If I could, It would be that we’re all OK, no matter what. I have chosen to dedicate my life to teaching acceptance. I want to live you with words of hope.

“Everything will be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end”
– Ronit Baras

Love and blessings of happiness and acceptance,
Ronit

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn

Related

Filed Under: Learning, Personal Growth, Relationships Tagged With: acceptance, beliefs, change, emotional intelligence, failure, fear, focus, happiness, happy, love, self confidence, self esteem, self worth, success

Avatar of Ronit Baras

About Ronit Baras

Ronit Baras is a life coach, public speaker, journalist and author, living in Brisbane. She coaches couples, parents and kids and delivers powerful, inspiring presentations and workshops on winning attitude, wealth mindset and parenting.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Avatar of cricut softwarecricut software says

    August 4, 2009 at 1:35 am

    Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.

    Reply
    • Avatar of Gal BarasGal Baras says

      August 4, 2009 at 2:01 am

      Hear, hear!

      Reply
  2. Avatar of ronitronit says

    August 14, 2009 at 7:03 am

    Cricut softwear,

    Amen to this!

    Ronit
    The Motivational Speaker

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Primary Sidebar

Subscribe by Email




    Free Yourself!

    In the Outback with Jasmine Banks by Ronit Baras

    A story of personal liberation that will make you get up and own your life.

    Find Out More »

    Categories

    • Global Village
    • Learning
    • Living & Lifestyle
    • Personal Growth
    • Relationships

    Look Deep into Yourself

    Reflections by Ronit Baras

    A story of realizations about life and death, pain and pleasure, bringing to light the inner truth of our existence.

    Find Out More »

    Tags

    behavior beliefs change choice emotional intelligence failure fear focus happiness health how to inspiration life coaching lifestyle motivation parenting personal development stress success wellbeing

    What’s Important to You?

    The Will by Ronit Baras

    Do you live by your priorities? When was the last time you really thought about this?

    Find Out More »

    More For You

    • Be Happy in LIFE Coaching
    • Family Matters Parenting Blog

    Stop Fighting with Your Kids!

    Motivating Kids by Ronit Baras

    Get your essential guide to motivating kids (and teens).

    Find Out More »

    Give Your Teens Confidence

    Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers by Ronit Baras

    8 stories about common problems teenagers have, with real solutions and practical strategies for coping with the pressures teens face on their path to adulthood

    Find Out More »

    Footer

    • About
    • Contribute
    • Advertise
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Sitemap

    Copyright © 2025 Be Happy in LIFE · Powered by Get Business Online Consulring

    Share this:

    • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
    • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp
    • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
    • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
    • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
    • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn