Our modern culture is full of “get <something> quick” books, seminars, presentations, advertising and so on – get rich quick, get personal growth quick, get instant cash, get instant hair growth – we’ve all seen them everywhere. In many of them, the source presents the argument “If I can do it, so can you!”Moreover, the presenter, author or advertiser tells us “I will show you how to do it step by step”.
So a lot of people attend the seminars, buy the books or audio visual programs and do their best to follow the advice of the mostly-self-proclaimed “guru”. However, only few succeed.
Why is this? Why do so many people fail to get the money, the personal growth or the fitness, even when presented with a bullet-proof, step-by-step method, coming from a live example of success?
Good question. I’m glad you asked.
In all the personal growth and wealth creation material I’ve heard and read, invariably there is the bit where you must let go of your current thinking and adopt the thinking proposed by the new system. “All you have to do is buy <this, that and the other>, learn <some skills>, spend some time every day <doing what I tell you to do> and voilÃ , your life will change forever”, says your guide-of-the-day, but, try as you might, you cannot see yourself spending that initial amount of money or that initial amount of time.
Another recommendation we find hard to follow is “Delegate. Don’t do everything yourself. Pay others to do the routine tasks for you and focus on strategy”. This means (oh, my God) having to spend money on an ongoing basis, which is even harder than a one-time amount.
“Well, that’s natural”, you say, “How do I know I won’t just lose that money and time I’ve spent and get nothing in return?” In fact, that’s what most people say, and it’s exactly why they don’t make it big like their mentors say they can.
The missing ingredient is a leap of faith. If you got anything out of “What the Bleep Do We Know” and “The Secret”, it should have been that our beliefs and focus change our universe. The people who fail or get limited success do not have the belief that THEY can do it. Their focus is therefore on justifying this belief by finding reasons for their lack of success and then ways to actually not succeed. They subconsciously ask the question “Why can I not do this?”.
The successful people, on the other hand, have faith in their ability to follow through and in their ability to judge good advice. They immediately start focusing on “How will I do this?”
My life coaching instructor told us time and time again “‘Why’ is a past-facing question. If you ask your coaching clients ‘why’, they will look to their past for the answers. ‘How’ is a future-facing question. This question you should ask your coaching clients often”.
So here’s your chance to coach yourself to riches, fitness or personal growth success. Find a quiet place to sit, close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax. First, imagine your mentor’s success and see yourself with them, having achieved your goals and succeeded. Then, go over all the successes you’ve had in the past, reliving the awesome feeling of completion and achievement. Finally, walk yourself through how YOU will carry out each of the steps in the new method. As you do this, make a note of the challenges you may face along the way, and recall how you’ve overcome similar challenges in your life.
When you open your eyes, for each of the remaining challenges, write down the question “How will I <get the desired result>?” and keep the list in your pocket. Your subconscious will know it’s there and will keep finding solutions for you until it finds them all.
[Solution ideas: save, borrow, plan, network, ask, partner, use the Internet, use the 80/20 rule, breathe deeply, smile]
Repeat this self-coaching session with yourself daily (oh, yes you can!) , until you get all the answers and achieve success, because YOU CAN.