The thing that used to get me stuck the most, back before my personal growth began in earnest, was being right. No matter the cost, I just had to be right at everything. I would argue until the cows came home, and then a bit more, and by then, many friends thought they had better things to do and gave up.
Do you think that stopped me? No way! I had to make them see the light, didn’t I? No point accepting feeble defeat. The other person had to clearly state that I was right and give some very good reasons, which I supplied myself earlier, of course, as to WHY I was right.
As much as this sounds crazy, I know others who are just like this.
Anyway, I’ve since grown a bit and figured out that when I feel I need to be right, my focus is on what the other person is thinking about me. Realistically, for the most part, who cares?
Before you go to the effort of finding people who do matter, consider that even for you, most people don’t. Most other people’s opinion of you will have very little impact on the quality of your life. So don’t bother.
What’s more, most topics aren’t that important. Think back to arguments you’ve had in your life and I’m sure you’ll agree that social topics certainly don’t matter, you can easily let go of sports, fashion, style and other personal taste topics, because personal choice is just that – personal. You can choose one thing and the other person can choose another and that’s fine.
Finally, in most cases, there is no right and wrong anyway. Human beings operate on beliefs and those are subjective. Truth is a very tricky thing to establish (ask generations of philosophers), so the question of who is right is, well, quite absurd to being with.
“So what should I do instead?”, you ask. Clever question. Well done for asking.
By asking this question, as is the case very often, you have alluded to the answer. Take responsibility for and focus on your desired outcome and do what you can to get to it. No point being right and having no friends, right? So instead, focus on finding some middle ground, or better yet, a win-win situation, in which everybody’s right.
So what now?
The thing that used to get me stuck the most, back before my personal growth began in earnest, was being right. No matter the cost, I just had to be right at everything. I would argue until the cows came home, and then a bit more, and by then, many friends thought they had better things to do and gave up.
Do you think that stopped me? No way! I had to make them see the light, didn’t I? No point accepting feeble defeat. The other person had to clearly state that I was right and give some very good reasons, which I supplied myself earlier, of course, as to WHY I was right.
As much as this sounds crazy, I know others who are just like this.
Anyway, I’ve since grown a bit and figured out that when I feel I need to be right, my focus is on what the other person is thinking about me. Realistically, for the most part, who cares?
Before you go to the effort of finding people who do matter, consider that even for you, most people don’t. Most other people’s opinion of you will have very little impact on the quality of your life. So don’t bother.
What’s more, most topics aren’t that important. Think back to arguments you’ve had in your life and I’m sure you’ll agree that social topics certainly don’t matter, you can easily let go of sports, fashion, style and other personal taste topics, because personal choice is just that – personal. You can choose one thing and the other person can choose another and that’s fine.
Finally, in most cases, there is no right and wrong anyway. Human beings operate on beliefs and those are subjective. Truth is a very tricky thing to establish (ask generations of philosophers), so the question of who is right is, well, quite absurd to being with.
“So what should I do instead?”, you ask. Clever question. Well done for asking.
By asking this question, as is the case very often, you have alluded to the answer. Take responsibility for and focus on your desired outcome and do what you can to get to it. No point being right and having no friends, right? So instead, focus on finding some middle ground, or better yet, a win-win situation, in which everybody’s right.
Good luck!